I'm a little late with this, this year. My tradition has been a year retrospective for the Winter solstice, but the pace of this December has really put me on the backfoot! But I end this year with such gratitude, such grief, and also a thrill for what's coming up in 2026.
I can say now that this year has challenged me in ways I was not prepared for. This is a place where I practice honesty, and I want to share with you that on January 1st, I thought this might be my last year in the business. I cried all day. We keep ourselves going through hard times with little milestones. Little talismans of hope. And the symbolism of the "new year" arriving and no fairy godmother having bippity-boppity-boo'd me into a new state of being finally caught up to me.
It's no secret that businesses have been struggling recently, and we have lost a number of indie lingerie designers in particular. It's completely understandable, people are making very tough decisions about their household spends, and we sell indulgences, not essentials. But for each of those businesses, that is a heartbreak you can only understand when you have stood in our shoes. Burning the midnight oil, making Vogue level shoots happen on a shoestring budget, and always pouring everything you have back into developing your baby as far as you can. And after a really tough December last year (which should be sustaining you through the worst months) I was facing the same dilemma, how much more of my soul do I give to something that simply isn't washing its face?
I decided then and there, that if Orchid's light was going out this year, it was going to blaze bright. I was going to give everything I had to making my ambitions happen. I was going to strategize, push myself as hard as I can, and if nothing else, I was goddamn well going to make work that I was proud of. A huge part of this emotional 360 was meeting the glorious people at The Corsetry Retreat back in February. I paid a visit for an hour or two at their magnificent event, hosted in a historic manor house near me, with every corner stacked with antique corsets and costume. Contemporary corsets of exquisite inspiration by my colleagues, and a room full of students drinking up the knowledge being shared so freely. Hugs and catch-ups with makers that I have talked to online for years, old friends who I see too rarely, and the attendees who were just fizzing with unique takes on our craft, and fired up to create. It is just intoxicating to sink into a place like that, and it was like balm on my soul at that particular moment in my journey.
I came away from that brief visit understanding that I needed to take a break from designing products, and give myself permission to make something impractical, delving deep into my own inspiration, and stepping away from a goal of perfection. I already had a photoshoot booked in for March to relaunch our Seirian waspie, and that gave me about 2 weeks to dig deep, and make something that I truly connected with, to shoot on the beautiful Miriam Veil. Some of you may already know that this piece later became the heart of the Seeds of Persephone collection, but I'm jumping ahead! There was such a boost to my creative thinking by giving myself this space, especially seeing the reactions coming in to that piece! It backed up my feeling that I needed to stop trying to anticipate what people wanted, and get back to the authentic joy of something being your truest expression.
Turning things around meant a lot of saying YES even when my introvert, anxious heart was saying HIDE YOU FOOL! My next opportunity for this came from the good people at the corsetry retreat once again, unleashing their plans for a corsetry symposium later in the year, and looking for speakers! Now, I love writing, but talking? Less so. Talking in front of a conference hall full of people I admire? Nope. But, I had a germ of an idea to bring together my two biggest soap box topics. Psychology and Corsetry. And in late April, I was informed that I had been chosen as the keynote speaker for the first annual Corsetry Symposium with my talk on "Unlacing The Unique Psychology of Corsetry". I was not only thrilled that my idea had resonated with the team, but also, feeling so vindicated, that putting myself out there seemed to pay off. Now all I had to do was write a 55 minute speech!… Oh…. 😬
But the Summer was full of gratifying work, developing the collection that I had promised myself at the start of the year. Pieces that came from a decadent eroticism, sensual and feminine with a darkness at its heart. Seeds of Persephone is, I think, my proudest work to date. With Rhiannon at its heart, a development from my creative freedom experiment earlier in the year, and rich with inspiration from a designer I admire from the early 20th century, Yva Richards. I was blown away by the response to this collection, and the way people related to the theme of Persephone's struggle in the underworld. It's a difficult time to be a woman, trans or cis, in the world today. The notions of our autonomy being stripped from us, and the loss of the world we know and love, trying to find our way back towards the light. Persephone is a figure that shares our grief and our pain, proving that we can deal with what we have to, to return to a world we love. The kismet of shooting this collection with a shibari artist, capturing the suspension of life and control, was pure chance, and in no way planned. Neither was his pomegranate red rope, but aren't the best things always like this? A meeting of chances that deepen your sense of what you're creating, and connect you more powerfully to the universality of a message.
September was… wild. Orchid turned 19, celebrated with an impromptu cake and wine photoshoot in my kitchen, and the privilege of sharing in Edge O' Beyond's royal visit, as part of their team. HRH Princess Anne came to the South Wales factory where my Heledd corsets are made, as well as our collaboration style, Charlotte Silk! I had the loveliest conversation with Princess Anne about medical corsetry, how our emotional state is affected by our clothing and our lingerie, and I was taken aback by how insightful she was about manufacture and the industry. I'm so deeply grateful to Naomi at Edge O' Beyond for inviting me, she absolutely didn't have to, but that's the way Naomi is, always looking to open doors for other people.
Not long afterwards, it was time to pack my bags and spend a weekend with the corsetieres and makers I have admired for so long at the Corsetry Symposium in Leicester, in association with Heritage Crafts. I could never have taken enough pictures or notes to remember every moment of this enriching time, but being immersed in the varied and intricate crafts of everyone in that conference hall was so stimulating, creatively. I came away with such an appreciation for how diverse our art form is, how generous and open people are with their insights, and how there is a universe of knowledge to unpack. I think I could spend the rest of my life doing nothing but studying corsetry and never run out of fascinations or sources. The event was a tour de force, and I'm so grateful for everyone that laboured to make it what it was. But aside from being there to lose myself in authentic 1700's stays, I was there to give a speech!
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Months of research and writing went into my talk, and it's one thing practicing to an audience of my judgmental cat. But standing in front of my colleagues and corset lovers to deliver my hyper fixation was one of the scariest things I've done. In talking about the psychology of what makes corsetry so uniquely transformative, naturally, gender and identification played a large part. And about halfway through I started to panic that what I'd actually written was a paper on gender and not corsetry! The silent room also fed my anxiety that I had misjudged this horribly, and everyone was waiting for it all to be over. It wasn't until I’d finished with a sigh of trembling relief that I was informed that the silence had been due to people being filled with emotion. There were tears, there was recognition, and there was a sense of being seen that moved me profoundly. I could not have asked for a more welcoming response to a talk that shared the personal experiences of my clients (with their express permission) and my own observations over nearly 20 years in this game. I came away humbled by the kindness of strangers, the importance of openness about gender identity, and the impact of being understood.
Sadly, the high of the Symposium was short-lived. The next day, I received the devastating news that we had lost two of our family members in a tragedy that has rocked our family. Reconciling with this has been a journey of patience, an outpouring of love, and support for their enormously brave surviving children, and an embracing of the here and now. I bring this up, partly as it is such a huge part of what this year has been, but also because so many of us would benefit from the lesson we think we know by heart. You don't know what you've got till it's gone. But if I may reiterate this with great force- never assume tomorrow. Fix the argument, say I love you, reach out to the person you don't hear from enough, and most importantly of all, make the memories. We celebrated their lives with the music he created, the paintings and poems she left and the hundreds of stories we all told through tears and belly laughs. It is a huge legacy to carry forward, and we remember them with such great love.
I had the honour of making two memorial pieces for them to wear on their final journeys, a dragonfly for him and a butterfly for her. My attempts were crude and did not match the vision of ethereal splendour I wanted to send with them, but the meditative practice of crafting for them was meaningful and very helpful in coming to terms with their loss. We still miss them, but feel them every day.
Autumn swept along, and didn't care if you were hanging on by your teeth or not. There were orders to fulfil, and, secret collaborations coming to fruition. I was busier than I could have imagined, and I was endlessly grateful for it. Throwing myself back into a creative space helped in finding a new rhythm for the days, and being involved with the new Maetriarchy events trips to Morocco was just the escapism I needed. Though I stayed firmly on terra firma in Wales, sending styling for the knock-out team to shoot fantasy inspired main character moments on horseback on the beach was heaven. Molly and I have been in touch for some years now, and I was overjoyed to be asked to contribute corsets for the trips. If you're a Booktok girl and want to celebrate your own heroes journey I strongly suggest you book onto their 2026 events! The photography and videography coming back right now is astounding.
With the days getting darker, my energy has been divided between making and planning. There have been some glorious commissions this year, including one that will be ready to begin construction on my first day back in January, and another from early Spring that is still waiting on it's own blog post! After all my fears at the start of this year, 2025 has become one of milestones, deep connections, work that came from the heart, and creative highs I could not have predicted. And for reassurance, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. Looking ahead to next year, we are expecting to launch afore-mentioned secret squirrel collaboration rather soon, possibly before Spring. And let me warn you right now, that you will need every piece of that collection, so start saving your pennies! The first two months of the year are given over to bespoke work for two long standing clients, and a wholesale order that I could not be more excited about. I have the seeds of a new collection germinating as well, returning to the wise words of Jenni Hampshire from Sparklewren, gifted to us at the Corsetry Symposium, "More is More". When will I fit it in? Who can say, but time is elastic when you have the drive.
This year has truly spun me around, in the best and worst ways. I have to believe that we are given both in measure, and if your year has left you plunged into the darker half, please know that if nothing else, you will always have a home here, on this little page, where we unpack our souls and ask to be accepted once again. And with enormous love, I ask you to reach out when your load is too heavy. We are all just self aggrandised houseplants with anxiety, and all figuring it out for the first time. And I speak for everyone who loves you when I say that we would all rather hear your same worries a thousand times than never hear your voice again. The light is coming back, friends, lets all be there to meet it together. I hear it's going to be a beautiful day.
